I was fortunate to be raised in a family who was more interested in creativity, nature and science than in appearances, which is perhaps part of the reason why I’ve never have struggled with an eating disorder. The closest I ever came was when my weight crept up to a size 16 after a physical injury reduced my physical activity. It wasn’t so much how I looked that bothered me. After all, I didn’t grow up surrounded by fashion magazines, mirrors or women concerned about the way they looked. My magazines were national geographic, my TV was David Attenborough, and we were too busy creating art and exploring nature to bother with mirrors!
What bothered me was the way I felt. I didn’t feel as comfortable in my own skin. I felt heavy and I had lost some freedom of movement. As soon as this realisation kicked in, I did something about it. I booked into a gym and found exercises that worked around my injury. The first month was great. The weight dropped off beautifully. Unfortunately, the environment was a bit toxic for me because there was a crazy over-emphasis on weight loss that messed with my head. For the first time in my life, I gained an insight into what it might feel like to become obsessed with food. For a few weeks I found myself constantly hungry simply because eating less for weight loss had become the mantra. I wasn’t hungry because I was hungry, I was hungry because food had suddenly become a black-market no-go zone. What a horrible way to live! Continue reading